Your Job From Hell: A Guide to Discovering What You Really Want in Your Career Change

A smiling Kate wearing her Pause Outdoors t-shirt in Beckenham Place Park

Discovering what you really want in your career change can be challenging. I remembered the Job From Hell exercise recently in a coaching conversation, when I asked my client, ‘what do you love doing in your current role?’ There wasn’t much. So I asked; ‘Your job from hell – what does it look like?’ It got a big reaction!

Getting clear in my own career change

The Job From Hell exercise is taken from Barbara Sher’s book, “I Could Do Anything, If Only I Knew What It Was’. Although the book is a little dated now, creating my own Job From Hell when I changed careers, was super useful. It helped me to clarify and get specific about what I actually wanted in my career and my life, simply by listing all the things I didn’t want.

Sounds simple. Well yes and no!

It’s easier to describe what you don’t want

Sher says – and I agree – that most people can clearly describe what they don’t want in their next role, and with great detail. But how does this help if you’re changing careers or trying to work out what you want in your next role? If you’re feeling stuck in your career, or feeling like you’re at a crossroads, listing all the things you dislike in your job can be straightforward, if not depressing. Let’s be honest, you’ve probably already got an idea about what you hate at work if you’re reading this far, because you already know this ‘stuff’.

The wildlife pond by River Linear and River Pool in SE6
I didn’t want to be sat at a desk and without natural light in my working day – so I flipped it in the Dream job exercise

What if I could describe my Dream Job?

But what about the stuff you don’t know yet? What if you could clearly describe the opposite – the Dream Job? (Read on for the exercise). This is everything you’d love to have, do and be paid for in your work and career. Sound indulgent? That’s the beauty of it. You imagine and describe your ideal working day with free reign.

Both these exercises, The Job from Hell and the Dream Job are great at:

  • Identifying the elements you want in a career change or in your next role
  • What’s missing from your current role or career that you need to incorporate
  • Setting clear boundaries on what you will and won’t compromise on
  • Not repeating past career mistakes

Take a look here at my blog on Discovering Purpose in Life and Ikigai for another useful approach.

Job From Hell and Dream Job exercises

What you need;

A pen, paper, an environment to think or imagine. I invite you to take these questions, particularly the Dream Job questions, outdoors on a walk, somewhere green and calming where you won’t be disturbed.  Read here about how greenery and nature enhances our thinking.

Job From Hell exercise – the ‘don’t wants’

Imagine your most hellish day on an ordinary working day, that starts from the moment you wake up and ends when you go to bed. Describe these hellish moments in vivid detail, focusing on these key questions:

  • Where are you on your most hellish day? (the environments, surroundings, think about light, noise, place)
  • Who are you with? (whether you know/ have worked with these people already, or you’re describing general traits and behaviours. Note: does not have to be humans – can be animals, tech,  etc
  • What are you doing? (specifically, the activities you hate doing, that drain you, that you feel are pointless, that make you feel miserable.

Dream Job exercise – the ‘do wants’

Now the flip. Imagine your perfect day—an ordinary working day that starts from the moment you wake up and ends when you go to bed. Describe it in vivid detail, all the positive moments and feelings, again focusing on these key questions:

  • Where are you on your perfect day? (the environment/surroundings)
  • Who are you with on your perfect day?
  • What are you doing? (specifically, the activities you enjoy, that energise you, that make you feel happy/valued/purposeful – however you want to feel)

What do you notice from each exercise? Identifying key elements in both scenarios can provide valuable insights into what you want more of and less of in your life.

Top Tips

If you…;

…find the Job From Hell challenging or gloomy – do something light/fun/energising as a reward

…have  identified what you don’t want, but are stuck on what you do want – flip the ‘don’t wants’ into polar opposites.

Example - and these are mine from when I did this exercise in 2019;

I don’t want to be sat at a desk all day

I don’t want to be in a small, dark, gloomy space with no natural daylight

Becomes…

I want to be able to move a lot more

I want natural daylight and space

Kate writing notes after a coaching session - in Dulwich Park SE22
Writing up notes after a coaching session – in Dulwich Park SE22

Back to my client

My client began to work out not just what she needed, but what also was possible and achievable in her day. What was important in her life that enabled her to thrive, was becoming clearer.

3 Top Tips: What Do You Want in Your Career Change/Next Job?

  1. Identify what you enjoy and love doing most, who you’re with, where you are. Bring it to life, just like the Job from Hell and Dream Job exercises. Include what you love in your personal time too.
  2. Set yourself SMART goals. Ideal for having something specific and achievable to work towards to motivate you. Also great for when you find big ideas too big to navigate and need to chunk them down
  3. Do some good work on yourself –  whether it’s self awareness, regular physical exercise or good sleep, ensuring the basics are there could make a big difference. Read here about the PERMA model – foundations to flourishing, which is a key principle in my life coaching work.

 

Earlier I talked about what you already know. In my experience, no matter how insightful the material, a meaningful career change requires time, energy, and commitment. It’s probably something you’ve been thinking about for a long time already. Doing this work by yourself enables you to scratch merely the surface of your perspective. Having an ally to support you can provide valuable viewpoints, uncover blindspots and reveal other rewarding possibilities that you might otherwise overlook.

So if you need support with your career change or challenge at work, book a call with me here.

What could you do, if only you knew what it really was? 

Client agreement - ground rules.

1. Bring my whole self to this process; professionally and personally.

You cannot separate your professional and personal ‘lives’.

2. Be present in the moment and connected.

… to the coaching; what you’re thinking, feeling, experiencing. And…to nature if and where we are outdoors. If we’re on headphones, I’ll invite you to be descriptive of your environment too.

3. Bring the agenda to each session and keep your overall objective alive.

You can do this in several ways:

  • Be goal and action orientated – bring what you want to discuss and achieve to the session; OR
  • Talk and see what lands – exploratory and intentional.
 

I will bring the process, tools, ideas, resources and best practice to best support you towards your goal/intention/objective. More in your pre-coaching questionnaire. 

4. Give feedback and be responsive.

Coaching is collaborative. Neither of us should guess where we stand. I ask you to give me feedback and respond – you can rely on me to give and do the same.

I aim to get back to you within 24 hours of you emailing me, even if it’s just to say ‘I received your message’ before I respond properly. If it’s over the weekend or holiday, this may take longer.

5. Do the work in the session and in between sessions.

…so that you get the best value, even when it’s challenging. I might suggest a piece of work based on what you brought to the session. Mainly you will decide your course of action.

Whichever way, I’ll invite you to:

  • Reflect more; through walking, writing and whatever else fires you up, to help you achieve your objective.
  • Explore more; be curious and follow those trails of thought, intentionally
    Practice more; habits? Actions? Keep trying/tweaking.
  • Note what’s coming up that’s important or interesting to you in the session. I may share a few bullet points with you after, via Google Docs.

6. Session duration and timescale.

Generally a session is an hour but happy to shorten or increase session lengths, as and when we both can, that day. Where either of us thinks it appropriate, let’s say in the session. Timescale – let’s keep to the timescale agreed in the contract.

Additional information...

  • Coaching is a relationship designed to facilitate the development of personal or professional goals and develop a plan/strategy for achieving those goals.
  • It is comprehensive; it may involve other areas of your life beyond what you may have originally intended. It is your responsibility to choose and decide how to handle this, or even whether to.
  • It can be challenging; digging deep, creating better habits, becoming more self-aware, changing unhelpful beliefs you hold about yourself to something more helpful. There will be ups and downs. You will gain new insights, learnings and perspectives to help you achieve your goal.
  • You – the Client, are solely responsible for creating and implementing your own physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results arising out of or resulting from the coaching relationship and your coaching calls and interactions with me – the Coach. As such, you agree that the Coach is not and will not be liable or responsible for any actions or inaction, or for any direct or indirect result of any services provided by me – the Coach. 
  • You – the Client, understand that in order to enhance the coaching relationship, you agree to communicate honestly, be open to feedback and assistance and to create the time and energy to participate fully in the program. I will do the same.
  • Coaching is not a substitute for counselling, mental health care or substance abuse treatment.  If you are in any kind of therapy, please tell me.  Tell your practitioner (medical or therapeutic) of you working with me.
  • I ask you to agree to commit to the coaching sessions to facilitate the required change.
  • I will treat you as the expert regarding the subject matter, which is…YOU.
  • I will allow time and space for you to explore your thoughts and think for yourself, no interruptions. There may be long pauses or silence sometimes to elicit more.
  • What goes on in your sessions is confidential. I do not discuss it with anyone. There may be occasion when it is my duty to break confidentiality:
    > If I feel you or I are at risk of harm.
    > Criminal / illegal activity.
    > A safeguarding concern or something else so serious that warrants concern.
  • I may talk to my coach or supervisor about issues arising in our sessions without ever naming or giving away you as the client. This is to ensure I am following professional and ethical guidelines and delivering my best. I subscribe to these by the ICF; https://coachfederation.org/code-of-ethics
  • Qualifications and CPD; I am an accredited coach. This means I have trained, practiced and qualified with Animas Centre for Coaching (Nov 2020). I hold a ‘Diploma in Transformational Coaching’. This is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
    > I have my own coach and group supervision
    > My CPD includes –  Outdoor Intelligence for Online Coaching (Oct 2020) -Positive Psychology (Feb 2021
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My accreditations

Birds

My story

I’d been trying to work out ‘what else’ I could do with my career and life.

After 20 years in HR and with the children getting older, I wanted to change careers, but into ‘what?’ And ‘how’ was that even possible? And…’who would take on a mid-40’s apprentice?’!

I took small steps to boost my confidence and mindset; a regular ‘walk and whinge’ with friends to offload, short courses to up-skill, more running, more netball.
I asked my workplace ‘what else’ they needed that I could help with – ‘job crafting’. 

I was trying to make changes but it wasn’t really working. I was still frustrated and now, more miserable. I needed a different approach to find a way forward and release the building pressure I felt.

Hiring an accredited coach with whom I knew I could work with, enabled me to take a good look at myself – at times, uncomfortably.

To be listened to without any interruption, or judgement was empowering and I started to recognise what made me, me – my personality, strengths, what energised me and made me happy. What if these things amounted to a job I would…love…?

I followed my curiosity and dabbled with ideas about potential jobs, tasks and environments that would suit me, with a new, growth mindset.

I started to shift perspective. When I finally realised the ‘what’, I felt an energy and sense of knowing that was powerful. And I laughed, because it had been right in front of me!

Coaching undoubtedly helped me get to know myself, to see my potential and what was possible. I wholeheartedly decided through those sessions, on what and how I wanted things to be.

It had taken me two years of feeling stuck and miserable and a number of hours to be liberated.

This is what I now do with my clients. I help them rediscover themselves so that they can play to their strengths and thrive.

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