Do you feel stuck?
You’re not alone. Many of us do – on a daily basis! But when it feels significant or endless it can make you feel miserable.
Whether it’s work or life, feeling stuck can look like;
- Really wanting something but losing motivation. Like; a new job, moving house
- Endlessly worrying about things out of your control, or that you are not (yet?) able to influence, instead of enjoying the here and now
- Identifying something as important, or exciting to do – and talking yourself out of doing it
Why do you feel stuck?
“Why do I feel stuck?” is not the right question. Because you need to take yourself OUT of the equation in order to get perspective.
This question is more helpful – and kinder;
‘What is it that is making me feel stuck?’
Reasons why you are feeling stuck (sound familiar?)
1. You’ve outgrown your current situation
We change over time. What worked for us then, may no longer work now. Ie, the job you started 5 years ago, your friendships from when the kids were at nursery, the area you live in… If you recognise you have outgrown your situation, then you might be wondering where to go next. Clarify your direction and the steps to take.
2. You fear others’ judgement
Are you placing too much importance on what others’ think and say about you? In her book, ‘Playing Big’, Tara Mohr says ‘…feedback doesn’t tell you any facts about you; it tells you something about the perspective of the person giving the feedback’. To know yourself better, to know your strengths and skills could enhance your confidence and anchor you.
3. You compare yourself to others
”Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt. If you recognise you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel down, you are making yourself feel inadequate. Focus on YOU instead. Ask yourself, What are my small wins today? Or practice gratitude. Research says both improve mental wellbeing when you do them regularly and over a period of time.
4. Your brain tells you that change = threat
Example; You want to change jobs, but you perceive that your current job offers stability and security = the change is too big a risk.
It’s easy to reduce your thinking and see options as ‘either/or’, because your brain perceives potential change as a ‘threat’. An alternative? Reframe your thoughts and language. Notice when your thoughts are negative, closed. Can you flip them round into something positive and open?
5. Your values are not present in your day-to-day
Values are your chosen principles to how you live your life. When your values are not ‘there’, things might seem off-balance; like your internal navigation system is off. You feel rattled or jarred. You’re not being your authentic-self.
Ask yourself; What are my top 3 values in how I live my life? Are they present? What’s getting in the way?
Go for a walk and don’t think about it – until later…
This works. It’s easy and practical. I explain how, in one of my free guides – download by clicking below to find out how.
My clients have this guide when we start coaching outdoors together. It helps them clarify their thinking during the life or career coaching process. I wouldn’t recommend it if I wasn’t using it myself – it helps me get clear on the thing buzzing round my head when I’m feeling stuck.